Drummer problems

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

It's a fact

• A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

• A large swarm of desert locusts (Schistocerca gregaria) can consume 20,000 tons of vegetation a day.

• The world's largest amphibian is the giant salamander. It can grow up to 5 ft. in length.