While visiting my parents over the weekend I came across some old school books from when I was 11, in Year 6.
They included some questionnaires where we had been asked to write about ourselves: what are you good at, what are your hobbies, who are your friends etc.
And the inevitable: “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
My answer: “a boss”.
Yes, I grew up with the expectation that I would have the opportunity go to university to study for a degree, and to have a career – to be equal to my male colleagues, something previous generations of women in my family never expected for themselves.
Women in Australia have a lot to be grateful to their predecessors for. And whilst there is still some inequality in pay, we are well on the way to having the same rights and responsibilities as men. We even have a female Prime Minister – well for now anyway… it may change at some point this week.
This is in addition to the rights and responsibilities that we already have as women.
Has society gone too far? Is it time to find a new balance?
Rather than having the choice to have a career, it seems to me that women are now expected to juggle a career and earn the equivalent salary of men – by both society and their partners – as well as continue their traditional role within the family unit.
As a consequence, and over time, unfortunately we’ve now reached a point in society that a double income is essential to afford the lifestyle to which we have all become accustomed; adding extra pressure and stress to women that previous generations did not have hanging over them.
And whilst a double income affords couples without children a very comfortable lifestyle; it’s when children are added to the equation that the stress fractures seem to appear. This is when couples have to decide whether they can survive on a single income and whether their female partners should give up their careers to rear children (and let’s face it, it’s normally the women who stop working, not the men) - and then deal with the consequences of this decision.
Men no longer expect to be the sole breadwinner for their families. At the same time, the majority still do not equally share the household duties. It’s still women who do the majority of cleaning, cooking and changing nappies, for example.
A few years ago I dated a high-earning man in finance who declared that he needed to be with someone who had the same earning capacity as him and that when he and his partner had children he expected her to continue working and earning while a nanny looked after their children.
I also worked with a very successful Dutch woman in London with two children who declared to me that she could never be a ‘stay-at-home Mum’ because she thrived on the mental stimulation of her job – this view is also applicable in Australia.
And finally, I have friends who are extremely grateful to their partners for the chance to stay at home with their children (generally they have three children, which is when childcare costs outweighs their earning capacity). These friends have happily dropped out of the workforce and have embraced their role as a housewife. And they recognise that they are now the exception rather than the rule.
I’m sure that the feminists who fought for female rights did so to allow the women of the future the freedom of choice rather than burdening them with the obligation of having a career on top of their traditional role. I believe that there is a real conflict within Australian families trying to balance the lifestyle that they think that they should be able to have with the reality of their situation.
I would be interested to hear what you think. Please let me know by clicking on ‘Add Comment’ below.
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